Getting to “Yes”

  1. Help me understand why your inflexible area is so important to you.
  2. What are your core feelings, beliefs, or values about this issue?
  3. Help me understand your flexible areas.
  4. What do we agree about?
  5. What are our common goals?
  6. How might these goals be accomplished?
  7. How can we reach a temporary compromise?
  8. What feelings do we have in common?

  9. How can I help to meet your core needs?

    Our compromise that honors both our needs and dreams is:

 
Copyright © 2000–2014 by Dr. John M. Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.
Distributed under license by The Gottman Institute, Inc.