“I’m the only adult in this relationship.”
“I don’t earn the money, so how can I have a voice?”
“Stop telling me what to do!”
“I take care of everything, except myself.”
When people come to me with relationship problems, they often start with complaints about who does the dishes, pays the bills, and so on. They’ve often taken on rigid, self-limiting roles, and seethe with the same old resentments, year after year.
But what I’ve noticed is that how much each partner talks & listens, cooks & cleans, earns & spends, sleeps & plays is not really the core issue.
The core issue is that we all need to feel truly valued.
When you know that your opinions, values and goals carry equal weight in the relationship, you can work anything out. Even who empties the dishwasher.
To get you unstuck, I use an empirically proven process: The Gottman Method. This approach stems from 25 years of research by the psychologist Dr. John Gottman. He studied how couples argue, and then tracked their futures. Guess what? The way we argue predicts 90% of our long-term relationship success! I’ll teach you the strategies of the “masters” and how to avoid the key predictors of divorce.
ACT is the mindset part of the relational puzzle. It’s about clarifying your values and enacting them in your life. Do this in the context of a relationship and qualities such as mutual acceptance, empathy and willingness arise—rocket fuel for the behavioral strategies of the Gottman Method.
To help you get the relationship you want, I created a structured, 9-step program. On the way, you’ll pick up key concepts and strategies developed by the relationship researchers and teachers I most admire.